Said the plain clothes cop to the beauty queen
“I’ve seen nothing but a spoke in a wheel”
So she gave up her crown to a kid with a [bad word] 
And they both felt cheated after closing the deal
And the white tooth man I ran with him
Got all cut up from [bad word] out in the weeds
And a fight upstate with a broken blade
And a wife whose finger never wanted a ring

Said the plain clothes cop to the Indian chief
“I’ve made nothing but an honest mistake”
The postman cried while reading the mail
And we all got trampled in the Christmas parade
And the white tooth man who sold me a gun
map of Canaan and a government bond
Said “I love this town, but it ain’t the same”
The ski mask ripped as he was putting it on

Said the plain clothes cop to the holy ghost
“I’ve heard nothing yet that wasn’t the wind”
And we all got sick on a strip club meal
While the statehouse pardoned all the witches again
So the white tooth man with his kids in the car
And a wad of money that was already spent
Said “I love my dog but she just ran away,
She’ll [bad word] like the world never ends”