It is too bad that our bodies will die so long before their time. I'm not sure what I miss, you or your innocence. I'm so sick of this routine that's left me buried. Life's [bad word] a [bad word] movie on repeat where it's always him, never me. I'm cycling through all of these bad dreams. I did this to myself. I never needed your help. I wish you never said those words to me. Mom, your old habits are making sense. You were so hurt when he left. Regrets and half smoked cigarettes. Six months of trying to live with this. I wonder what you talk about with him. I was such a stupid kid, always saying things I never meant. All your regrets and half smoked cigarettes