It's the holiday [bad word]  holiday [bad word] Citizens gathered together [bad word] a muck
Bucks flying Everywhere, folks pulling out their hair
People are waving while paying with great despair
If we don't fill winter with dollar bills then our depression peaks on top
We'd rather have stress than to be real depressed so we all shop until we drop

Malls crowded everyplace, nowhere a parking space
Everyone's screaming "Get Your [bad word] out of my face"
Buying Kids Cheap Costumes, Lines in all the bathrooms
Paying a fortune, Extortion's now in full bloom
People are shoving while claiming they're loving that holiday joy they feel
And your kids feel that joy if you buy the right toy so better keep your eyes peeled

Holiday [bad word]  Holiday [bad word] Citizens gathered together [bad word] a muck
Antiques and Christmas Cups, Suicide Rates go up
Kids whining "Buy me a Robotic Psycho Pup"
Holidays jumbled, three months is a bundle to handle with grace and ease
We must make a living so [bad word] off Thanksgiving, and jump straight to Christmas, please

Going, Going, and Gone
Change Decorations out on your Front Lawn
Losing that Magical Touch
Seeing your In-Laws three times is too much
Trick Or Treat, Merry Christmas
Going to Church for your annual mass
Kwanzaa, Hanukkah too
Best get it right, Someone's libel to sue

Holiday [bad word]  Holiday [bad word] Millions of Billions find their [bad word] just out of luck
Visiting Santa's Crib, lying straight too your kids
Pray they don't need therapy for your tiny fib
This [bad [bad word] earlier, seems almost every year, making us spend away
Christmas if we voted should not be promoted right after St. Patrick's day

Christmas and Halloween, Thanksgiving's in between
Putting on more weight than Shamu on Lean Cuisine
Snow falling everywhere, Traffic's a real nightmare
Can't wait for summer, a bummer, we're kind of scared
Emotions flying, our patience is dying, what happened to all our cheer?
We whisk money away until Valentine's Day, thank god it's just once a year

Holiday TV Specials
Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle
Sending out Christmas Cards too
Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew

It's the Holidaaaaay
The Holidaaaaay

Holiday [bad word]  Holiday [bad word] When did this time of year, full of cheer start to suck?
Someone cut us a break, help us for Heaven's sake
We're frowning while drowning, please God no more [bad word] It lasts a while so put on your smile, don't let them know how you feel
We all have to fake it so shut up and take it and chow on your Christmas Meal

It's the Holidaaaaay
The Holidaaaaay
Clusterfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!