(Jorma) Hey yo, new Lonely Island, 2011, let's get 'em Kiv! 
(Akiva) Hey yo my [bad word] don't work, that [bad word] is soft as a pillow, 
My girly lookin' at me like 
You for real dude? 
(Jorma) Hey yo, hold up, hold up. We [bad word] harder than that. Yo, tell 'em Andy... 
(Andy) I think there might be something wrong with my [bad word]  
It's like a melted stick of butter 
So soft that it can't fill [bad word] 
(Jorma) Hey [bad word] on man, this is Lonely Island. People are countin' on us. I gotta write all these [bad word] myself- 
Hey yo, I think I broke my [bad word] in the sink, 
It's so small and ugly, 
All smashed and flat like it was [bad word]  
Hold up, hold up, this is serious. Kiv, let 'em know. 
(Akiva) Yo for real though, I suffer from stinky [bad word] 
Every time I take a [bad word] it smells just like [bad word] 
(Jorma) Ha ha, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Andy, show 'em how it's done. 
(Andy) My [bad word] looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, 
Smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake, 
(Jorma) Lonely Island, Grammy-nominated, yeah! Hit 'em again. 

(Akiva) Yo, straight out the box with my soggy little shrimp, 
I was an eight year old girl before the doctor found my [bad word]  
(Jorma) We make too much money for this [bad word]  Murder music... 
(Andy) I [bad word] the bed cause my [bad word] played a prank on my butt, 
Straight crept when I slept and stuck a laxative up! 
(Jorma) Depository music! What y'all know about incontinence? 
(Akiva) I got Hepatitis from a horse, but no confusion, 
It wasn't from the , it was the blood transfusion! 
(Jorma) What?! [bad word] got horse blood! What y'all got? 
(Andy) I write freaky fan-fiction where cartoons [bad word]  
Got CGI Garfield licking Marmaduke's nuts! 
(Jorma) Wooo! I would like to see that! This that Garfield  music! Now y'all just showing off! Preach. 
(Akiva) I got a friend named Reggie who lives down at the dump, 
Every other week I swing by to bring him some lunch! 
(Jorma) Oh! Now that just sounds nice! Imma call it right there. Game over, [bad word]  Lonely Island, we started this fake-rap [bad word]  The world needs us!