in the end what really matters?
and what has worth and substance?
what it this i am supposed to want representing?
and why would it ever impress me?

and yet [bad word] deep
in spite of myself i hate myself like im supposed to

"and so i hate
this insufficient shell that covers my soul"
and that hate
faces inward my own worst enemy

and we all know who the real enemy is

if you are the consumer, and you are the product
how can you ever be satisfied?

and so i carry on, unsatisfied?
driven by the promise of earned acceptance,
earned self worth
when really the best motivation is to
is to annihilate the promise makes

and hope in this possibility
is what will make us whole
and fear in this possibility
is what will break them down

because i have hated myself more than it is decent for any person to hate
because i doubted myself when all you gave me was lies
i hated myself when i should have been hating you
i destroyed myself when i should have been destroying you

i always want what i dont have
i always need what i dont have
if you are consumer, and youre the product
how can you ever be satisfied?