I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
  Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
  Long John they call him, and he answers every call
  
  Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
  Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
  He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'
  
  He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"
  He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine
  Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"
  
  He took out his [bad word] drill
  And he told me to open wide
  He said he wouldn't hurt me
  But he'd fill my hole inside
  Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
  You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much
  
  When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"
  Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten
  Six months from [bad word] back and see me again"
  
  Say you're supposed to see your dentist
  'Bout twice a year, that's right
  But I think I feel it bobbin'
  Yes I'll go back there tonight
  Long John, Long John, don't ever move away
  Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.