I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'

He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"
He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine
Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his [bad word] drill
And he told me to open wide
He said he wouldn't hurt me
But he'd fill my hole inside
Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"
Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten
Six months from [bad word] back and see me again"

Say you're supposed to see your dentist
'Bout twice a year, that's right
But I think I feel it bobbin'
Yes I'll go back there tonight
Long John, Long John, don't ever move away
Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.