Well sitting in a bar alone 
 where no-one knows your name 
 is like laying in a graveyard 
 wide awake 
 You're scared that if you cough or yawn 
 you might wake up the dead 
 So pretend to read a paper 
 or just drink instead 

 I'm a [bad word] 
 but I'd sit down if I could 
 The world just seems 
 to want folk like me to stand 
 And the punch-lines seem to disappear 
 like clouds across the sky 
 And the laughter could be real 
 or could be canned 

 [bad word] by the kettle [bad word] 
 Whiskey by the jar 
 At Liar's Bar 

 Well living with a lying man 
 could never really hurt 
 But living with a [bad word] 
 well no-one deserves 
 And you're looking for your husband 
 you're not sure he's still alive 
 Don't bother with the cemetery 
 he'll be down at liar's dive 

 I'm a travelling businessman 
 I just stopped in for one drink 
 You'll find 
 that I'm not like the other men 
 Their noses are red 
 whilst mine is only pink 
 And they didn't choose their drink 
 their drink chose them 

 [bad word] by the kettle [bad word] 
 Whiskey by the jar 
 At Liar's Bar 

 And the grave-digger's smiling 
 at his reflection in his spade 
 He's visiting the seediest 
 the shallowest of graves 
 The vocal chords of elephants 
 and the characters of mice 
 They're singing "whisky, whisky" 
 so good they named it twice 

 Well don't pass buildings with lights on 
 if I said that I did I'd have lied 
 'Cause what looks like a Chinese restaurant 
 may have Chinese New Year inside 
 And son all my life I've been searching 
 the bars I've been in I forget 
 The lights outside ever brighter 
 but a light on the inside not yet 

 [bad word] by the kettle [bad word] 
 Whiskey by the jar 
 At Liar's Bar 

 And he's a world-wide traveller 
 he's not like me or you 
 But [bad word] in mighty regular 
 for one who's passing through 
 That one came in his work clothes 
 he's missed his last bus home 
 He's missed a [bad word] of a lot of buses 
 for a man who wants to roam 

 If I look rough I am rough 
 If I look sad I am 
 If I look broke I am broke 
 Just a broke down piece of man 

 I've turned over enough leaves 
 to fill an autumn 
 and if I had one final wish 
 I'd be your slave for a decade 
 if you could take me away from this 
 If you took me away from this 
 I'd be different you'd see 
 'Cause I didn't choose the drink 
 a drink just chose me 

 [bad word] by the kettle [bad word] 
 Whiskey by the jar 
 At Liar's Bar 

 Well I'm smoking like a chimney 
 And I'm drinking like a fish 
 At Liar's Bar