Asgardian prince so let me talk some sense
into the Midgard haters who must think I’m dense
no [bad word] for I’m here to usurp this
and remind you that I’m burdened with a glorious purpose
Ya it’s [bad word] I came here for the Tesseract
to make you [bad word] you was my plan of attack
cut me some slack because that plan is wack
all I ever really wanted was to get back
into Asgard… is that so hard to see?
I was scarred from being barred by my family
Oh Thor you’re so big we must worship thee!
With your golden locks making fan girls squee
I am Loki, the weaver of lies
so step back while I cut you down to size

Earth’s mightiest heroes? Avengers? Please.
I played each of you with the greatest of ease.
From your star spangled boy scout up to the head cheese
let’s not forget I made Heimdall freeze
and I decree, each of you I’ll subjugate
to kneel before me is your natural state
got a whole lot more than Shawarma up here on my plate
so let me hear you sing it out if you can relate

Did you really think you’d stop me with a puny gag?
I’m a trickster god, Hulk’s punching bag!
I made the Widow fake a sniffle and Stark get jet lag
give me more time I’ll make Thor’s pecs sag!
I’m incredulous, ridiculous, never superfluous, always adventurous
Hawkeye shot me in the face with an explosive arrow
have you noticed how my cheek bones are Oh so narrow?
Isn’t it apparent that I haven’t lost yet?
The moral of the story is the Infinity Gauntlet.
Ultimate power seems a pretty good outlet
for my daddy issues and ultimate conquest
recognize that I’m the perfect foe
and it’s high time you understand my goals.

Natasha, I know you think you played me
but this whole masquerade involves you having my [bad word] and Frost Giant blood oh so crazy
Clint mooning over you doesn’t phase me
I’m determined that you’re gonna wanna be my queen
and absolute power is your ideal scene
let’s blow up the world and get some ice cream
you and I shipped is my ultimate dream!