Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me
Do it in my van every Sunday
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know!

Oh Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!

Fiona says she's out shopping
But she's under me and I'm not stopping

Because Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!

Don't tell Scotty!

I can't believe he's so [bad word] While I'm right behind you [bad word] Fiona's got him on the phone
And she's trying not to moan
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing! ...Nothing

Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!

We'll put on a show!
Everyone will go!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!

The parkin' lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top
His front lawn in the snow
Life is so hard because Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know

I did her on his birthday

Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So don't tell Scotty!

Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty will know!
Scotty has to know!
Scotty's gotta know!
Gotta tell Scotty!
Gotta tell him myself!
Scotty has to know!
Scotty has to know!
Scotty has to
Scotty has to
Scotty has to go!

Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!