Now I've got a cousin on my daddy's side
He was a single boy and doin' fine
Until he met a wider who took him for a ride
He's a hubby now besides the paw of nine

All of the monkeys ain't in the zoo
There's some [bad word]  loose around me and you
Just watch when you're in a crowd and you'll agree too
That all of the monkeys ain't in the zoo

Oh the women on a budget always tickle me
They're as tight as ticks and worry all the time
And then a travelin' salesman sweeps 'em off their feet
They give a dollar for a [bad word] that's worth a dime

All of the monkeys ain't in the zoo...

[ fiddle ]
Now there's some awful smart men [bad word] the USA
They head the list of some of our great men
And then there's some others who had a bigshot brother
They weren't elected they were just put in

All of the monkeys ain't in the zoo
There's some a tellin' us a what we can do
Just watch when you're in a crowd and you'll agree too
That all of the monkeys ain't in the zoo

Now I've spent a week or two a workin' on this song.