I wish I could not say then I wouldn't have to lie
But it's gonna be okay, I met more honest men inside
But I never met a cop who didn't like his jackets straight
Never met a jailer who wasn't on the take

Yeah, but I'd rather be a bum than a [bad word] I'd rather catch a dog than a switch
I'd rather get a meal than a kiss
But I, I wouldn't mind both

You're just a [bad word] with the right last name
Boarding house, boss, you better lower that cane
And when it all falls out we'll be halfway to the horn
Thank the gandy dancers for a path well-worn

Yeah, but I'd rather be a bum than a [bad word] I'd rather pull the pin than the switch
I'd rather be a coke than a kid
But I, I wouldn't mind both

We are sold to the highest bidder
We are down to our very last [bad word] May we invite ourselves to dinner
'Cause we might just have to make [bad word] 
Dreaming of their wives and dreaming of their soap
I traded all the coin for the faro and the dope
Looking for high heels in the crowbar hotel
Just an Angelina and a n'er do well

Yeah, but I'd rather be a bum than a [bad word] I'd rather catch a dog than a switch
I'd rather get a meal than a kiss
But I wouldn't mind both

We are sold to the highest bidder
We are down to our very last [bad word] May we invite ourselves to dinner
'Cause we might just have to make [bad word] 
We are sold to the highest bidder
We are down to our very last [bad word] May we invite ourselves to dinner
'Cause we might just have to make [bad word] 
We are sold to the highest bidder
We are down to our very last [bad word] May we invite ourselves to dinner
And then we're down and on [bad word] 
Yeah, down and on [bad word]