Merry Christmas, ho ho ho
 I'll be six feet under the snow
 Jingle bells along the way
 I'm a dead [bad word] and I'm counting my days
 I've been too naughty, I forgot to be nice
 I guess violence is my vice
 So check your list Santa and check it twice
 I'm a dead [bad word] all right

 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 Yeah, yeah

 (All I want for Christmas is a custom fit casket with black velvet interior... Oh yeah, and a bucket of chicken)

 Seasons beatings and a jolly farewell
 By Christmas Eve, I'll be rotting so well
 In a one horse open sleigh
 Straight to [bad word] laughing all the way
 I've been too naughty, I forgot to be nice
 I guess violence is my vice
 So check your list Santa and check it twice
 I'm a dead [bad word] all right

 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 Yeah, yeah

 (Santa, if you're out there, and you can hear me, your fat [bad word] better have me a freshly dug grave)

 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 I'll be buried by Christmas
 Yeah, yeah