The girls today in society go for classical poetry
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides
One must know Homer, and believe me, Beau
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope
Dainty Debbies will call you a dope

But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The Bard of Stratford on Avon 
 [bad word] up your Shakespeare
Start quoting him now [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow

Just declaim a few lines from Othella
And they'll think you're a [bad word] of a fella
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopatterer

If she fights when her clothes you are mussing
What are clothes? Much ado about nussing [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow

Better mention "The Merchant Of Venice"
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace
If her virtue, at first, she defends---well
Just remind her that "All's Well That Ends Well"

And if still she won't give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow

If your goil is a Washington Heights dream
Treat the kid to "Midsummer Night's Dream"
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Night"

If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!" [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow
 [bad word] up your Shakespeare
Start quoting him now [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow

So tonight just recite to your lady
Kiss me, Kate, 
kiss me, Kate,
Kiss me, Katie! [bad word] up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow