Gather round and listen
 As I tell you now this tale
 The grim legacy of the pirates three
 And how their lives ceased to be
 I'll tell you know of [bad word]  The [bad word]  He got a case of scurvy rot
 And then that [bad word] was no more

 This is the tale of Captain Crashride
 By his crew, condemned and damned
 And as if this wasn't bad enough
 They replace him with a baldy man
 Now his ghost haunts the sea
 Eternally he's doomed to wander
 Mayhaps you'll hear his deathly cries
 C'mon son, buy a Honda!

 To the end of time we will sail the seas
 With cutlasses in hand
 We'll terrorize the land
 Though the hands of fate may strike us down
 We'll fight til we fall
 Swashbucklers til we die

 This is the tale of Admiral Nobeard
 The fattest pirate in the west
 He's never seen his ball before
 And he needs a bra to hold his [bad word]  Feared by friends and foe alike
 No sword nor gun could wound his flesh
 But one day he met his fate
 Twas on a pretzel he choked to death