[bad word] 
I had one pint of beer, and one shot of scotch,
I had one bottle of wine, and a bourbon on the rocks
I had one lassie on me right, another on the left,
I looked that puppet in the eye and said give me the test

long time ago, in a pub far away,
I sat on a barstool, just drinking away,
I couldn't hold it down, I guess I had too much
I felt a tremor in the force and then I lost my lunch

I woke up in a desert land, feeling hot and sick,
I saw a bearded man, he looked like some kind of hick,
He slowly waved his hand, and my pain was gone
He said let's go see Yoda, and I'll teach you this song.
 [bad word] gt;

So we got on a starship, and I flew off into space
He said his name was Obi-Wan and there was no time to waste,
I have to get you trained before it is too late,
So drink this bottle of whisky, and don't give in to hate.

My training went on, and I'd drank most of the bar
We had to stop up for supplies on the nearest Death Star
I learned to control my fear, and hold my alcohol
Soon I was able to stand when Obi-Wan would fall.
 [bad word] gt;

I sat down beside him and I looked him in the eye
He looked right back at me, said you judge me by my size
Obi-Wan said careful, for Yoda is the best
I said ok shorty, bring on this test

Well I could tell you how it ended, I could tell you some lies
Let's just say, that on this night the force was on his side
I got all riled up, and they threw me in jail
I said I don't believe it, Yoda said that's why I failed!
 [bad word] gt; [bad word] gt;
I looked that puppet in the eye and said give me the test
Well I looked that [bad word] right in the eye....