On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair,
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air,
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light,
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim,
I had to stop for the night,

There she stood in the doorway,
I heard the mission bell,
And I was thinking to myself,
`This could be Heaven or this could be [bad word] ,
Then she lit up a candle, and she showed me the way,
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California,
Such a lovely place,
Such a lovely face,
Plenty of room at the Hotel California,
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz,
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends,
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat,
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget,

So I called up the Captain,
`Please bring me my wine`
He said, `We haven`t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine`,
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night,
Just to hear them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California,
Such a lovely place,
Such a lovely face,
They livin’ it up at the Hotel California,
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis,

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice,
And she said `We are all just prisoners here, of our own device`,
And in the master`s chambers,
They gathered for the feast,
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can`t kill the beast,

Last thing I remember, I [bad word] for the door,
I had to find the passage back,
To the place I was before,
`Relax,` said the night man,
We are programmed to receive,
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave