I'm gonna smoke some crack
Only got 20 Rocks in my pocket
Ah, I'm [bad word] tell yo mama [bad word] I want sum corn dogs

I walk into congress like
I'm the lead speaker of the big black caucus
I'm here to give back to all my crackheads and junkies
Joe Biden says [bad word] I'm a old [bad word] honky"
I'm a little [bad word] lazy
I get high with Jay-Z
And give myself a raise
Cause I'm the one who pays me
Happy Reverend Dr. Martin Luther Jr. King Blvd. Street
Now lemme get a chicken sammich at the KFC
 [bad word] 
But Michelle, it was 99 cents!
I'm just gonna pocket [bad word] Chicken bits and chocolate chips
And anyone that's starting [bad word] Is getting hit with rocket ships
I'mma drop a bomb on anyone that's even talking [bad word] It's politics, [bad word] start the next apocalypse?
I'mma bomb Pakistan, I was born in Pakistan
No, for real, I used to smoke crack in I'm Blackistan
Standing round, handing out burritos at the border
Let's keep the Mexicans away from my daughters
You want [bad word] health care?
I'll give you some Michelle care
Brocolli and excercise, several kinds of welfare [bad word]  I'm still on welfare, food stamps, bridge cards
I still smoke crack, smack a [bad word] and steal cars
I could blow up any country from my cell phone
Michelle, wait, hold on, where'd Michelle go?

I'm gonna choke a tramp
Homie, got 20 Glocks in my pocket
All your mamas working for Obama
On the White House street corner
I'm gonna smoke a pack
Only got a couple fried chicken buckets
Me, Michelle and Hilary and Palin
It's a [bad word] foursome

What you know about fighting against evil?
What you know abut bombing countries full of brown people?
I did it, I shot Bin Laden like a [bad word] peasant
One man's [bad word] is another man's president
(Oh god)
I was born in Chicago
That's a village in Africa
All we had to eat was, uh, dog [bad word] with paprika
I'm illuminati, you could find me on the dollar bill
I cut through lines at Disney rides and the cider mill
I'm playing with Nancy Reagan's Granny panties
In the Oval Office, getting my [bad word] sucked [bad word] I'm wearing Abe Lincoln's top hat [bad word] I'm smoking JFK's crack rocks [bad word] They be like, "All these kids are pretty dumb"
I be like, "Yo, how about them broke [bad word] teachers?"
The kids are dumb [bad word] and teachers want money
So let's give teachers money, maybe they'll wanna teach
I call that a [bad word] sense solution
I smoke crack with a rolled up constitution
I hate America!
First chance I get you can bet I'll give this place back to the Cherokas
If you cross your eyes at Osama bin Laden
It sorta kinda looks like Obama Biden
I'm a Muslum, praise Osama, and I did 9/11
It was a mistake, one I'm not proud of
How could I have known you'd elect me president?
I look like a Taliban [bad word] This is awkward

I'm gonna bomb Iraq before they try to build a nuclear rocket
Achmadina, daba-duba-dilla [bad word] [bad word] for ya

I smoke the baddest dro
I stole a Camaro
I boned the fattest ho
From that bus stop down the road
I drop the baddest bombs
I was born in Taiwan
I can do what I want
Got them fly [bad word] [bad word] drones

I'm gonna smoke some crack
Only got 20 rocks in my pocket
I'm [bad word] tell yo momma [bad word] I want sum pork chops

Thank you! I wanna thank for making this all possible!
Black Jesus, uhhhhhhhhhhh, my manager, Rabbi Schwartz
My State Farm agent, uhhhhhhhhhhh, like a good [bad word]  Obama is there
My steak farm Asian, Kim-Jong Un
And I gotta thank the young people
Stay in school, and you will [bad word] president!
God bless America! [bad word] you, Taylor Swift
You [bad word]