Here's a story about a boy named Jerry:
Got slaughtered then got real leery.
In the pub he acted absurd
Then came home to a boxer's bird.
So he got knocked out,
Faced swelled up like a rainbow trout.
His girl found out the [bad word] 
But he couldn't explain 'cause he'd lost a tooth!

Here's a story about a chap named Garf:
Drank four pints in a hour 'n' a half.
Though the night had just begun
Because his local pub's open 'till one.
The next morning out in the country,
Hung over and on a hunt he
Was still [bad word] and he [bad word] himself;
Fell off his horse and shot himself!

Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives! Our liquid lives!

This is how we all survive!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink! Smoke! [bad word]  Fight!
Drink! Smoke! [bad word]  Fight!
Drink! Smoke! [bad word]  Fight!
Drink! Smoke! [bad word]  Fight!

Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning.
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke! [bad word]  [bad word] 
Fight, fight!