a pity she does not exist, a shame he's not a [bad word] the only girl i ever loved was andrew in drag
there is no hope of love for me, from here on i go stag
the only girl i'll ever love is andrew in drag

andrew in drag! (andrew in drag)
andrew in drag, yeah!

i don't know why i even went, it's really not my bag
just thought it might be funny to see andrew in drag
the moment he walked on that stage my tail began to wag
wag like a little wiener dog for andrew in drag

andrew in drag! (andrew in drag)
andrew in drag, yeah!

i've always been a ladies' man and i don't have to brag
but i've [bad word] a mama's boy for andrew in drag
i'd sign away my [bad word] fund, i would even sell the jag
if i could spend my misspent youth with andrew in drag

andrew in drag! (andrew in drag)
andrew in drag, yeah!

so stick him in a dress and he's the only boy i'd shag
the only boy i'd anything is andrew in drag
i'll never see that girl again, he did it as a gag
i'll pine away forevermore for andrew in drag