The creature from the black lagoon
He sits inside her warm, wet womb
He says, “Mirror, mirror, tell me [bad word] 
Is my hair dank and [bad word] ”

Down and down and down I go]
When love goes down the drain]
Down and down and down I go]
When love goes down the drain] [bad word] 

The monster from way out in space
He tears his way up to her face
He says, “Mirror, mirror, be real candid:
Does my face need to be sanded?”
 [bad word] 

The beasty from the foulest end
He slips around the toilet bend
He says, “Is this how one ages, ergo,
Does it happen to all Virgos?”
 [bad word]