[On the CB]
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s [bad word] Duck. You gotta copy on me, Love Machine? Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it’s clean clear to Taco Town. Yeah, we definitely got us the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...

Arizona, noon, on the seventh of June
When they highballed over the pass
Bulldog Mack with a can on back
And a Jaguar haulin’ [bad word] He’s ten on the floor, stroke an’ bore
Seatcover’s startin’ ta gain
Now beaver, you [bad word]  with [bad word] Duck
An’ I’m about ta pull the plug on your drain
 [bad word] 
’Cause we got a little ol’ convoy
Rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a little ol’ convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful [bad word] on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this [bad word]  convoy
’Cross the U-S-Convoy!

[On the CB]
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here’s the Duck, again, and ah you wanna back off on them go-go girls? 10, roger, ’bout five mile or so. Yeah, them hogs is gettin’ in-tense up here.

New Mexico, on I-four-oh
Like a Texas lizard on glass
One thousand pedals was mashin’ the metal
Them bears was a-walkin’ the grass
We [bad word] all day and we [bad word] all night
Big Benny improvin’ our style
We could tell by the smell
We was headin’ for [bad word] And the Devil was Dirty Lyle
 [bad word] 
’Cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful [bad word] on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this [bad word]  convoy
’Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!

[On the CB]
Ah, now here’s the plan, Pig Pen. When we get to the pass, we’re gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline® an’ an extra ration [bad word] for the men. That should do it.

Now Lyle was a creep
He was tacky and cheap
But he had him a badge an’ a gun
He hated the Duck and he hated his [bad word] And he loved to bust [bad word] for fun
So he followed the line
And he bided his time
And he watched for his chance to strike
Then he picked on a [bad word] Yeah, a wiry ol’ sucker
Yeah, the [bad word] they call Spider Mike
But the [bad word] Duck [bad word] outta luck
When he crossed that final bridge
There’s choppers and rigs full’a guns an’ pigs
They’s wall-to-wall on the ridge
He showed no fear as he grabbed his gear
An’ he stuck it in grandaddy low
Them guns went boom
An’ his [bad word] went zoom
An’ the Mack took a terminal blow

[On the CB]
Ah, how ’bout ya, Big Nasty, c’mon there. Say, listen, Big Nasty, we sure are glad you was along on this [bad word] ta kick [bad word]  dontcha know? Ah, 10-4, I know you can’t say "kick [bad word]  on the CB. Back.

Well, that big black Mack stopped dead in her tracks
When the trailer blew high in the air
There was pieces of [bad word] and some pieces of Duck
And junk and debris everywhere
Then the rig took a drink [bad word] to sink
And there was no Duck no more
But that evil smile from Dirty ol’ Lyle
Shone south from the north Texas shore
 [bad word] 
’Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful [bad word] on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this [bad word]  convoy
’Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!
Convoy!  Ah, 10-4,
Convoy!  Pig Pen, what’s your twenty? Omaha? Well,
Convoy!  they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. Well, listen, good buddy,
Convoy!  keep the bugs off