On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dimmer
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be [bad word] 
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, She got the Mercedes Benz
She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since 1969'
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California
Such a lovely Place (such a lovely face)
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I [bad word] for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said the nightman, We are programed to receive.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave