Mr. Samberg Thanks [bad word] to your performance review 
No problem 
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say? 
Absolutely, I'm the boss 
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss 
Well the first thing I do is... 

Talk to corporate (like a boss) 
Approve memos (like a boss) 
Lead a workshop (like a boss) 
Remember birthdays (like a boss) 
Direct workflow (like a boss) 
My own bathroom (like a boss) 
Micromanage (like a boss) 
Promote Synergy (like a boss) 

Hit on Debra (like a boss) 
Get rejected (like a boss) 
Swallow sadness (like a boss) 
Send some faxes (like a boss) 
Call a  line (like a boss) 
Cry deeply (like a boss) 
Demand a refund (like a boss) 
Eat a bagel (like a boss) 

Harassment lawsuit (like a boss) 
No promotion (like a boss) 
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)  [bad word] on Debra's desk (like a boss) 
Buy a gun (like a boss) 
In my mouth (like a boss) 
Oh [bad word] man I can't [bad word] do it... [bad word]  
 [bad word] out (like a boss) 
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss) 
Jump out the window (like a boss) 
Suck a dude's [bad word] (like a boss) 
Score some coke (like a boss) 
Crash my car (like a boss) 
Suck my own [bad word] (like a boss) 
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss) 

Chop my balls off (like a boss) 
Black out in the sewer (like a boss) 
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)  [bad word] its brains out (like a boss) 
Turn into a jet (like a boss) 
Bomb [bad word] (like a boss) 
Crash into the sun (like a boss) 
Now I'm dead (like a boss) 

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then? 
No doubt 
You chop your balls off and die?  [bad word] yeah 
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own [bad word] 
Nope! 
Actually I'm pretty sure you did 
Hah, that ain't me 
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me 
I'm the boss 
Yeah, no I got that. You said it about four-hundred times 
I'm the boss 
Yeah yeah I got it! 
I'm the boss 
No I heard you, see ya later 
LIKE BOSS!