Well little Tommy Conway 
Has been shoveling the walkway
But the snow [bad word] all the same
And though it's only frosting 
He finds the work exhausting
And would play a snow ball throwing game

While down on main street
Mayor Brewster takes a seat
In Billy Higgin's [bad word] muzrek barber 
He's looking for a little trim 
But Higgin's isn't listening
And soon the mayor finds he is short of hair up there

It is just like any ordinary town 
Where the sun goes up and the sun goes down
Except the sun is one big pumpkin pie instead
And everybody is made of gingerbread.

Over by the skating pond 
Something weird is going on 
The cookie trees have started disappearing 
No one's there to see them go
There's just a whole [bad word] muzrek in the snow
With [bad word] left in the forest clearing

Late at night when the cold winds blow
Down from the mistletoe mountain
Hugging tight by the fireplace glow, their gingerbread blessings they're counting

It is just like any ordinary town 
Where the sun goes up and the sun goes down
Except the sun is one big pumpkin pie instead
And everybody is made of gingerbread.