What a drag it is getting old.

"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.

"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day.

Doctor, please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

"Men just aren't the same today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy. You can tranquilise your mind
So [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimise your plight.

Doctor,plese, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No [bad word] to the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way through your busy dying day.