go go go go go go go on love its my birthday
you look tarty love its my birthday
ill buy you a bacardi love its my birthday
and you know im having a laugh its not my birthday
 [bad word] 
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
look love i got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
im into playing darts i aint into growing [bad word] [bad word] fill up my mug before my bag gets stuck

You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
look love ive got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
im into playing darts i aint into growing [bad word] [bad word] fill up my mug before my [bad word] gets stubbed.

When i pull up out front you see my vauxhall nova
when i hit the bar its ten pints before im over
i came to watch the game coz im a blackburn rover
and i munch on m'n'm's while im down in smirn over
but only nothings changed cash down bottoms up
and i got a paper cut from rolling my rizzla up
when you watch how i move you'll mistake me for a geezer a gimp
coz i feel down my stairs and now i walk with a limp
in the [bad word] bits of watford they say 50 you hot
they like me i want them to love me like lesbians trot
but go to hemle hempsted and they'll tell you i'm crazy
coz i once got [bad word] an humped a statue of a lady
but im fully focused now tea and coffee on my mind
got a part time job in the daily grind
now this girl yeah she likes my hair she likes my part
her friend is fit but she's as ugly as an-alright
 [bad word] x 1

My girlfriend's mum gave me the cash that bought me all my fancy stuff
my couch, my fidge, my plates, my weights
look mate i'm tied down but i aint changed
and you should love it well more than i hate it
your like my dad fashion sense is outdated
im that bloke by the bar when i'm on my rounds
your the weird guy who never leaves or makes a sound
when the beats are pumping i get my macarana on
my mates drag me to my chair before the end of the song
if the roof's on fire someone dial 999
and if you wanna get [bad word] love it isnt a crime
i'll tell you what i tell every girls your fit, nice hair
if you dont [bad word] it heres another red square
or i could tell my mates i'll be round the back with a kronenbourg
they'll know where we'll be yeah
 [bad word] x 1

don't act like you dont know where iv'e been either mum
in the pub all the time mum
it's about to pop off mum
burn unit