Out on the tarmac
There stands Scouse Jack
Megaphone and anorack
Shouting out ‘Listen Matt
Choose Christianity, don’t choose humanity’
He lost sanity a long time ago
 [bad word] out of Topshop
Girl with a mop top
Cheeky little boob tube
YouTube lover
Round at the back door, crack [bad word] 
Morals slack for a reason, I’ll tell you what’s more

Play her down and beat her
Treat her meaner
Never made her keener, man you should’ve seen her
Now on the forecast, she’s got a snow blast,
She [bad word] fast, she’ll die a young lass

All the sinners and the winners, sitting down for dinner,
All the salaries are fat, the mistresses are thinner,
All these cats have their kittens on celery,
And all these twats have their mittens on the treasury

And my mum always said to me
You gotta do the right thing, do the right thing
Or they’ll hunt you down, karma’s always quicker than a clown,

Outside the school gates
That’s where your mum waits
Burger and chips, playing up cos you never ate
Healthy little bite size, pasta and salad sides,
Literary lettuce and a lesser known appetite

Jamie Oliver
Stick out your olive branch
Kids ain’t got a chance, stuck in a trance
Sat [bad word]  join up the routers,
Big distributors of fatness is [bad word] 

All the sinners and the winners, sitting down for dinner,
All the salaries are fat, the mistresses are thinner,
All these cats have their kittens on celery,
And all these twats have their mittens on the treasury

And my mum always said to me
You gotta do the right thing, do the right thing
Or they’ll hunt you down, karma’s always quicker than a clown,

Out on the tarmac
There stands scouse jack
Megaphone and anorack
Shouting out ‘Listen Matt
Why be a sinner when you can be a winner?’
The man’s got a point, yeah, he can be forgiven

All the sinners and the winners, sitting down for dinner,
All the salaries are fat, the mistresses are thinner,
All these cats have their kittens on celery,
And all these twats have their mittens on the treasury

(The meaning of life)

And my mum always said to me
You gotta do the right thing, do the right thing
Or they’ll hunt you down, karma’s always quicker than a clown,
Yeah my mum always said to me
You gotta do the right thing, do the right thing
Or they’ll hunt you down, karma’s always quicker than a clown,
Karma’s always quicker than a clown.