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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves Scheherazadie had a thousand tales But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve You got a brand of magic never fails! You got some power in your corner now Some heavy ammunition in your camp You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how See all you gotta do [bad word] that lamp And I'll say Mister Aladdin sir What will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, jot it down You ain't never had a friend like me No no no! Life is your restaurant And I'm your maitre' d' [bad word] on whisper what it is you want You ain't never had a friend like me. Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service You're the boss, the king, the shah! Say what you wish, it's yours! [bad word] dish How about a little more Baklava? Try some of column 'A' Try all of column 'B' I'm in the mood to help you dude You ain't never had a friend like me Can your friends do this? Do your friends do that? Do your friends pull this out their little hat Can your friends go poof! Well looky here Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip And then make the sucker disappear? So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed I'm here to answer all your midday prayers You got me bona fide, certified You got a genie for a charge d'affairs! I got a powerful urge to help you out So what you wish I really want to know You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt So all you gotta do [bad word] like so, and oh! Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three I'm on the job, you big nabob You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never...had a... friend... like...me! You ain't never had a friend like me!