Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves 
Scheherazadie had a thousand tales 
But master you in luck 
'cause up your sleeve 
You got a brand of magic never fails! 
You got some power in your corner now 
Some heavy ammunition in your camp 
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how 
See all you gotta do [bad word] that lamp 
And I'll say 
Mister Aladdin sir 
What will your pleasure be? 
Let me take your order, jot it down 
You ain't never had a friend like me 
No no no! 
Life is your restaurant 
And I'm your maitre' d' [bad word] on whisper what it is you want 
You ain't never had a friend like me. 
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service 
You're the boss, the king, the shah! 
Say what you wish, it's yours! [bad word] dish 
How about a little more Baklava? 
Try some of column 'A' 
Try all of column 'B' 
I'm in the mood to help you dude 
You ain't never had a friend like me 
Can your friends do this? 
Do your friends do that? 
Do your friends pull this out their little hat 
Can your friends go poof! 
Well looky here 
Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip 
And then make the sucker disappear? 
So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed 
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers 
You got me bona fide, certified 
You got a genie for a charge d'affairs! 
I got a powerful urge to help you out 
So what you wish I really want to know 
You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt 
So all you gotta do [bad word] like so, and oh! 
Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three 
I'm on the job, you big nabob 
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend 
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend 
You ain't never...had a... friend... like...me! 
You ain't never had a friend like me!