Life itself is magical
Without lies about Santa Claus
Gift giving can so fun
Without [bad word] buying drones
Stories about virgin birth
Stories taken word for word
From books that have been translated
Too many times to count
Are just stories to me, so...

Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Please just skip to a Happy New Year (fa-la-la)
Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Though I hope yours is filled of love and cheer.

Yes, I am an atheist
And you can call me a scrooge
Cuz I'm a fan of reason
And don't partake in
Religious celebrations
But I do like to have fun
And I'm up for friendly hugs
Just please respect this one request from me...

Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Please just skip to a Happy New Year (fa-la-la)
Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Though I hope yours is filled of love and cheer.

I'll drink down some vegan nog
Without the egg but [bad word] 
I'll have a green and red cookie
Because I love eating sweets
sled ride sounds exciting
And let's build a snow person
Together we can have some secular fun if you...

Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Please just skip to a Happy New Year (fa-la-la)
Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Though I hope yours is filled of love and cheer.

To those who don't believe
To those who are unsure
Please know you're not alone
No, you aren't
Just cuz we don't congregate
Or have our own holiday
Doesn't mean we can't have fun
While bein' [bad word] to ourselves.

Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Please just skip to a Happy New Year (fa-la-la)
Please don't wish me a Merry Christmas (ho, ho, ho)
Though I hope yours is filled of love and cheer.