I've sung some songs that were lame
I've slept with girls on the game
I've got my Catholic shame
Lord I'm in purgatory
Basically, it's [bad word] on top for me

I wasn't me when we met
You haven't lost my respect
I'm here to serve and protect
What shade of insanity
Keeps leading you back to me

So put your hands across the water
Mushroom [bad word] soon

Don't wanna [bad word] on your parade
I'm here to make money and get laid
Yeah I'm a star but I'll fade
If you ain't sticking your knives in me
You will be eventually

To all you Sharons and Michelles
With all your tales to sell
Save your meat money well
I'm glad that spending a night with me
Guaranteed you celebrity

And I can't talk in a crowd
When I'm alone I'm too loud
You've done your daddies proud
Thank you for keeping [bad word] You've all been so nice to me

So put your hands across the water
Mushroom [bad word] soon

Oh Lor', I feel nothing
I know much smarter men never got this far

I've got so many regrets
I smoked too many cigarettes
I've had more blondes than [bad word] I'm not expecting your sympathy
But it's all been too much for me

So put your hands across the water
Mushroom [bad word] soon
So put your hands across the water
Mushroom [bad word] soon