[Danny Sexbang]

Princess Peach
Won't you listen to my speech
I don't have any stars of invincibility
But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me
I'm your Luigi

[Egoraptor]

What up, [bad word] I got a one-up, [bad word] What's inside the question block; it's my [bad word] It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami
I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami
I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky
Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki
I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen
My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean
So suck it

[Danny Sexbang]
Mario, you always do this [bad word] I like a girl and then [bad word] it
By yelling stuff about your [bad word] Until they go away

[Rachel Bloom]

Hey Luigi, it's okay
That Mario's a bit risque
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid

[Danny Sexbang]

Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that
The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that [bad word] it

[Egoraptor]

I'm here to pleasure that [bad word] I'd like to go first, princess, but I [bad word] last
And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone
Koopa Troopa skeletons are the only dry bone
I am tired of [bad word] 'round it's such a [bad word] hassle
I go through [bad word] and then you're in another [bad word] castle
You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe

[Rachel Bloom]

O-M-G, I can't decide
On which of you should be the guy
To take me on your mustache ride
That'll redefine my life

[Rachel Bloom and Danny Sexbang]

I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many coins you've got
I just know I like you a lot
[Ego] Yo, [bad word]  check out my yacht (Ugh)

[Danny] Let me take you on a magic kart ride
[Ego] I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside
[Danny] We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along

[Egoraptor]

I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey [bad word] on, Peach, it's time to make your choice
I'm the only plumber that can your boobies rejoice
Green, lanky [bad word] brother ain't got [bad word] on me
It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pe-
Nis

[Outro]

[Ego] So, who's it gonna be, princess?
[Rachel] I choose...Toad
[Both] Toad?!
[Rachel] Well his whole body's shaped like a [bad word] [Both] Oh yeah, mmmhm, yeah, definitely, mushrooms look like [bad word]