[Nerd]
YES, I AM NERD
Bookworm, I’m studious
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus
Back in Kindergarten
I aced my college entrance exam
Now, I’m no rocket scientist –
Oh wait, I am
When I pour my Alpha-bits
I get nothing but straight A’s
My retainer and headgear connect
To a back brace
I've got a pocket-protector protector protector
I broke my glasses on purpose so I could tape ‘em [bad word] back to Reddit
And type stuff no one will see
You’re a geek
That means you’re just a hipster wannabe

[Geek]
That’s right, I’m a geek
I’ve got brains, and a personality
I wear my glasses sincerely
And my T-Shirts ironically
There’re some things you can’t learn in a class
Or else I’d sign you up for “Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast”
You’re just so early Twenty-Thirteen
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux
Too bad there’s no app to neutralize your B.O
While you’re lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long
I’ll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom

[Nerd]
Sure, grooming’s not my thing
But I don’t care
I look so good in chain-mail
That it’s not Renaissance Faire

[Geek]
Doesn't LARP stand for loser and reject party?
I’d rather cosplay with hotties
Than play fake army
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once
And I died . . . of boredom
But I’ll still kick your Assassin’s Creed post-mortem
Mario Party’s the only one you get invited to
Your life is like Skyrim
An endless quest of Solitude

[Nerd]
Ooo, you beat Angry Birds
You’re not a gamer ‘cause you battle your friends with words
You click on cute icons
I [bad word] Do you really need a “genius” to teach you Garage Band?

[Geek]
I landed the first ROFLCOPTER
And took in orphans when I was 12 ‘cause I’m an early adopter
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb
Okay, maybe not, but I can Yelp us some good pho to eat

[Nerd]
You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs Doc?!
I keep an actual ram in my PC!
His name is Spock

[Geek]
I’m a new console
Your face is birth control
I troll Brony sites
You look like an actual troll

[Nerd]
I’m fluent in C++
[std::cout << “You just suck! \n”;\]
Can your iPhone auto-correct your dumb haircut?

[Geek]
Hold on a second
Let me tweet this info-graphic I made
That illustrates the fact you’ll never get to procreate

[Nerd]
I just haven’t met a woman of a high enough caliber
The only dates you have are on your Google Calendar

[Geek]
You’re losing this battle
Your foam sword won’t help
In the future you’ll randomly access this memory
And [bad word] yourself

[Nerd]
Did I mention I built a dancing robot?

[Robot]
No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans
Do you even know what URL means?

[Geek]
You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about
(Sung in what I assume is Elvish)
Much wind pours from your mouth you cowardly dog!
You are ugly, and your mother dresses you
Go kiss an Orc

[Nerd]
You know
[Both]
You are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain!