Peter: Mr Booze

Audience: Mr Booze

Peter: Mr Booze
Mr Double O Z 

Brian & [bad word]  That sure spells booze

Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze

Brian & [bad word]  Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Peter: Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-
If you been so stiff they thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified

Audience: Testify

 [bad word]  Oh yeah!

Audience: Testify

Audience: Testify

 [bad word]  I wanna testify, I wanna testify!

Peter: Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself!

 [bad word]  One time I took a library book out and I fells asleep reading it and I left it under the bed. I forgot about it for three and a half years. I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine and I never made it out of the house

Peter: Who's to blame?

Audience: Who's to blame?

Peter: What's his name?

Audience: We know his name, his name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-don't ever choose
Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze!

Peter: If your head feels like it's two miles wide

Audience: Two miles wide!

Peter: You'll feel better once you've testified

Audience: Testified

Brian: Oh Yeah

Audience: Testify

Carl: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!

Peter: [bad word] forward dear brother and testify!

Carl: I used to be a soda pop guy. Then I switched to the bottle. Now I don't leave my couch and I've seen every movie ever. You name a movie, I've seen it

Audience: Meet Dave

Carl: Seen it

Audience: The Eiger Sanction

Carl: Seen it

Audience: Donovan's Reef

Carl: Seen it

Audience: License to Drive!

Carl: Definitely seen it

Peter, [bad word] & Brian: That's a shame

Audience: What a shame

Peter, [bad word] & Brian: Who's to blame

Audience: for Corey Haim?
His name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-you must refuse
You'll make the obituary news
If you mess with Mr. Booze
If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified
Testify
Testify

Tom Tucker: This man wants to testify

Peter: Very well my brother
Let us lead him on the path of righteousness

Tom: This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences. But after years of drinking he can only speak in short, choppy utterances.
Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johann Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed
Who's your favorite musician, Ollie?

Ollie Williams: Cher!

Tom: He doesn't even like Cher

Brian: Now alcohol makes a big man small
And can lead to a life of crime

Audience: Yeah!

 [bad word]  [bad word] makes a gent a bum
And cash in before your time

Audience: Yeah!

Dr. Hartman: Bootleg gin puts you in a spin
Till you don't even know your name

Audience: Yeah!

Peter: You're a basket case flat on your face
And there's only one guy to blame

Audience: Mr. B-Double O-Z-
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-Don't ever choose

Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes
If you mess with Mr. Booze

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Peter: Oh Mr. Booze

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Peter: Oh Mr. Booze

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze

Brian: Don't mess with B-Double O-Z-
'Cause that s