GASTON:
Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!

LEFOU:
Darn right.

GASTON:
No one says "no" to Gaston!
Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

LEFOU:
More beer?

GASTON:
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

LEFOU:
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, [bad word] or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
 [bad word] 
No one's been like Gaston
king pin like Gaston

LEFOU:
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

GASTON:
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
 [bad word] 
My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

LEFOU:
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
 [bad word] 
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston

LEFOU:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!

BIMBETTES:
For there's no one as burly and brawny

GASTON:
As you see I've got biceps to spare

LEFOU:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

GASTON:
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
 [bad word] 
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston

LEFOU:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

GASTON:
I'm espcially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!
 [bad word] 
Ten points for Gaston!

GASTON:
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
 [bad word] 
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Gaston!
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston

LEFOU:
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

GASTON:
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
 [bad word] 
My what a guy,
Gaston!
Say it again
Who's a man of a man?
And lets say it once more
Who that hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his life hangers on
There's just one man in town
Who's got all of it down

LEFOU:
And his name's S T,
S T E,
S T O, oh
 [bad word] 
Gaston