there was an old women who said her goodbyes 
by gathering everyone she knew and telling them her lies 
“i wasn’t faithful to my husband, i lied to my friends 
but in the end i was thinking about you” 

when my mom had my brother she was no older than me 
so why’s it so hard to imagine a family 
where i’m the one in charge, and not just a kid 
and i think of what she did 

and then my mind tells me to [bad word] what you do 
on top of everything she was just a child, too 
she wasn’t giving up, despite the things she said 
when she left she was thinking about you 

i convince myself everyday i’m not going to disappear 
you think i’d be okay with the thought after 20 years 
but the ideas keep me up, and even if i could sleep 
i wouldn’t want to dream, because i’m thinking about you 
and it’s driving me mad 

i don’t want to think about what we said 
or have to justify why i stay in bed 
instead of going out with my friends all the time 

is it so hard to believe 
that sometimes we 
as human beings 
get sad.