someone's been sending me flowers
oh what a sweet thing to do
every new day brings another bouquet
and i don't know who to say thank you to
 
sometimes they're thrown through my window
or down through my chimney they fall
sometimes at night, when i've turned out the light, [bad word] through a crack in the wall
 
now that my house is a garden
bursting with blossoms in bloom
i stand there for hours, admiring my flowers
i'd like to lie down, but there just isn't room
 
someone's been sending me flowers
more than i ever have had
remarkable stuff, but enough is enough
if i see another bouquet, i'll go mad
 
he started by sending me Bluebells
oddly enough, they were gray
each faded bloom had a nasty perfume
besides being gray, they were papier-mache
 
there followed a garden of fungus
and then, as a tropical treat
he sent me a plant that proceeded to pant
and later began to eat meat
 
the cactus corsage touched me deeply
a beautiful plant in its prime
i felt much the same when the rock garden came
one rock at a time
 
somebody madly adores me
i know not whom to suspect
since i cannot afford to be madly adored
i do wish you'd stop sending flowers collect