We skipped the light fandango 
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor 
I was feeling kinda seasick 
But the crowd called out for more 
The room was humming harder 
As the ceiling flew away 
When we called out for another drink 
And the waiter brought a tray 

And so it was that later 
As the miller told his tale 
That her face, at first just ghostly, 
Turned a whiter shade of pale 

She said, "There is no reason 
And the [bad word] is plain to see." 
But I wandered through my playing cards 
And they would not let her be 
One of sixteen vestal virgins 
Who were leaving for the coast 
And although my eyes were open wide 
They might have just as well been closed 

And so it was that later 
As the miller told his tale 
That her face, at first just ghostly, 
Turned a whiter shade of pale 

She said, "I'm here on a shore leave," 
Though we were miles at sea. 
I pointed out this detail 
And forced her to agree, 
Saying, "You must be the mermaid 
Who took King Neptune for a ride." 
And she smiled at me so sweetly 
That my anger straightway died. 

And so it was that later 
As the miller told his tale 
That her face, at first just ghostly, 
Turned a whiter shade of pale 

If music be the food of love 
Then laughter is it's queen 
And likewise if behind is in front 
Then dirt in [bad word] is clean 
My mouth by then like cardboard 
Seemed to slip straight through my head 
So we crash-dived straightway quickly 
And attacked the ocean bed 

And so it was that later 
As the miller told his tale 
That her face, at first just ghostly, 
Turned a whiter shade of pale