Brian, skate!
Brian, skate!
Brian, fight!
Brian, skate!

What would Brian Boitano do..
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan, and he'd follow through..
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Brian, skate!
Brian, fight!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold..
He did two Salchows and a Triple-Lutz
Wearing a blindfold..
When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting Grizzly Bears..
He used his magical fire breath
And saved the maiden's fair..

Brian, skate!
Brian, fight!

So what would Brian Boitano do..
If he was here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an [bad word] or two..
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Brian, skate!
Brian, fight!

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010..
He fought the Evil Robot King
and saved us all again
And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kublah Khan..
Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take [bad word] from a-ny-bo-dy...

(Talking) 
No, Brian those chicken wings are really spicy.. Don't eat those!

(Singing)
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!

Brain, skate!
Brain, fight!

Brian Boitano was born on the planet of Kyyriluk
He came to Earth to save us all from war and death and such
I-Dee-Oh-Dee-I-dee-lay Brian Boitano's here..
So round up all your lasses..
and tell 'em they have no fear
 [bad word] over here my honey..
and I'm gonna take off my pants.. 
and I'm gonna make dirty love to you..
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!