VERSE 1
In two rooms, separated [bad word] And there’s nowhere to hide

Coffee on the table
See if he’s able
To figure us out

few sloppy mistakes
Gave us away
And the law tracked us down, down

good cop ultimatum
An offer to make me
Sing of my love

But I know…
 [bad word] I’ll admit to doing a crime
Even end up doing the time
If it means I’m saving a life
And can look into his eyes
On Judgment, judgment, judgment day (x3)

VERSE 2
No handshake was needed
Faustian agreement
That I’d take the blame

Brown bodies in chains
History showed me early
This would be my fate

His mama did the same
Gave her life just like I
Something like legacy

body on the pavement
Lifeless and naked
No one knows but me

What we made…
 [bad word] I’ll admit to doing a crime
Even end up doing the time
If it means I’m saving a life
And can look into his eyes
On Judgment, judgment, judgment day (x3)

OUTRO
He follows me wherever I am
Holds my hand and pulls me down from my 5’10” stance
Admires the curve of my vertebrae, never afraid that my skin might fray
And always certain that my ligaments and tendons were made with him in mind
On summer Sundays, when we drive to the beach together, I let him sit in the passenger seat
Even though he’s not big enough to do so
He kicks and screams
Throws [bad word] when I put him in the back
Does not want to be forgotten
As time goes on
He’s further from my thoughts
His cheekbones make me cringe. The way they sit there
Strong, molded, smooth, dark, and dewy
proclamation of the man he would’ve grown up to be
The days he slips loose from my thoughts, he reminds me of his omnipresence
At that point between wake and sleep, rolls over to nestle up beneath me
And breathes heavy on my neck. I sometimes wake in sweats
Shaking at the thought I may have suffocated him
But he’s never there
Curious he’s always asking questions. Where he came from, where he went
Why he looks so much like me, but not
Why I act the way I do when we cross paths with toddlers in the promenade
Why we do not celebrate his years with cake and candles
Why he never got a name
Guilts me into letting him call me mommy. And when it echoes from my mouth
It shakes at first with trepidation, then charges unstoppable like a freight emerging from a cave
He loves to close his eyes, hold his breath, and make wishes in the tunnels on PCH
The way we gasp for air melodically and reach for sunlight at the end --
Both our inside and outside bodies together in unison --
I know he is mine. He never tells me what he wants
Because he’s superstitious. He gets that from his father, but I doubt he knows
He says the shore is the first place he remembers me taking him to, and the water, on the days it’s blue
Reminds him of his birthday

VALLEY IDOLS

No one’s supposed to be their own role model
Looking up to socialites and coked-out models
I made it out alive with a heart so hollow
Worshipping the shallow
In the valley of the fake idols

(Did I scare you?)