I’m 30 and I wearing a tutu of candy
Did I mention that I’m 30?
I went the Supercuts and asked them to [bad word] my head up
And look what this [bad word] did to me.
Ha ha ha ha, girl you dumb!
I used to make music and dress like a punk
Now looks like a blind stylist dressed me
Yes, Queen You Look Great!
This video is [bad word] racist but it’s ok because I’m paying this Asians chicks to dance behind me
We want to kill ourselves
This is the probably the worst thing (that) I have done in my life and I married that Nickelback guy
Ew, ew, gross
Did I mention that I’m 30?
Yes I’m [bad word] 30
And I’m wearing accessories that I got from Claire’s
I never smiling cuz on the inside I’m dyeing
Please take me out of my misery

No you have 10 more years
Now it’s time for Dubstep music
Made by a 50 year old white guy
Hey isn’t this what the kids like?

They also like when I butcher Japanese
Jin-Jon-Won-Chin-Won-Chon-Ding-Dong
That means go buy my new song
Ding-Ding-Wang-Wang-Ding-Ding-Ding-Chi
That means holly [bad word] I’m 30
Holly [bad word] I’m 30 and I am married old enough to have babies
Oh my God I’m [bad word] 30
Oh my God I’m 30
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God
Midlife breakdown

Look at me I’m eating sushi
I like to make my eyes all Japanese-y
Ding-Gon-Jow-Chi-Dong-Chi-Don-Chi
(You [bad word] Racist [bad word] 

Sure you can have my new CD

Hey there Miley, Miley
Are you jeal-i, jeal-i of my stupid [bad word] video?
I made a Checklist of all the stupid stuff
You did in yours
And I think we’re tied