There's a girl next door to me who's round the bend
But she wonders why she can't make any friends
From her garden she could see me
In her silver-clad bikini
Singing, dancing round her [bad word] tree

Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, can't you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, [bad word] near me

Could I calm her down by throwing stones at her
If only I could make the right approach to her
Think I'd rather tame a tiger
Turn those lemons into cider
Still I'd like to get beside her

Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, can't you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, [bad word] near me

Three o'clock in the morning
I could her her toneless singing
I could smell her lemon perfume in the air
I walked up to the window
In the hope that I might see her
Could the deadly shade of night still bring her there

Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, can't you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, [bad word] near me

Morning came and into action went my plans
Went to meet her dressed in bright green underpants
I crept in and sang discreetly
Seemed to change your mind discreetly
Danced together singing sweetly

Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, can't you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, [bad word] near me

Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, can't you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister, [bad word] near me