I entered the room at the Canned Laughter
Ethel was angled across some dude's knee
I offered to clothe her, to feed her, to bath her
If she'd just give me a little exclusivity

Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special
Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special to me

Ethel is a woman that a [bad word] through
She is famous throughout the land [bad word] and bath in her lake
And I do but lately it's gotten out of hand

Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special
Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special to me

To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars
But do not kiss her, make [bad word] unglued
So if you want a piece of her, you better get in there fast
Right now there's a ticketbox and a queue

Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special
Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special to me

Depth Charge Ethel we should all just take a chance
We should all love one another, cuz she's special
In the back of a taxicab with ants in my apnts
I can't sit still, I know they're gonna send me, I know they're gonna send me

Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special
Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special
Yea Depth Charge Ethel
Is heavy metal
yea heavy metal
Depth Charge Ethel
Is something special to me