The dolls have burnt down the dolls house
The Chessmen have been put to the sword
The Droughts are forming a coven
Peter Pan is sleeping with whores

The man in the moon, oh where did he go
 [bad word] some astronauts were seen digging a hole

The Daleks are on the council
Action Man likes little boys
The Moomins they worship Satan
The Wombles have been humanely destroyed

The man in the moon, oh where did he go
 [bad word] some astronauts were seen digging a hole

The 3 bears share more than porridge
Biggles is [bad word] and sleeps in his car
Janet sells smack from her basement
While John's a people trafficker

Noddy he makes snuff movies [bad word] bear hung himself from a tree
Andy Pandy he is on steroids
The famous five are on a murder spree

The man in the moon, oh where did he go
 [bad word] some astronauts were seen digging a hole
We are easily brought and so easily sold
England expects you to do as you're bloody well told