she said it was just a figment of speech
and i said, you mean "figure"
and she said, no, "figment"
because she could never imagine it happening
but it did
 
when we first met, i played the shy boy
and when she spoke to me for the first time
my nose began to bleed
she guessed the rest
 
the next day, we went on a bus ride to the ferry
and when nobody came to collect our fares
well, i knew then, that this was something special
 
i couldn't stop thinking about her
and every time i switched on the radio
there was somebody else 
singing a song about the two of us

it was just like being on a fast ride
at the fun fair
the sort that you want to get off
because its scary
and as soon as you're off 
you want to get straight back on again
 
but all love is strange
and you have to learn 
to take the [bad word] with the smooth
i suppose
she began going out with Mr. Potato Head

it was when i saw her in the car park
with his coat around her shoulders
that i realized...
i went home and thought about the two of them
together
until the bath water went cold around me
 
i thought about her eyes
and the curve of her [bad word] and about the point where their bodies met
 
i confronted her about it
i said, i'm the most illegible bachelor in town
and she said, yeah, that's why 
i could never understand any of those 
silly letters you sent me
 
and then, one day, it happened
she cut her hair
and i stopped loving her