Stewie: You've got to look your best tonight
You tubby little parasite
Cause there's a lovley lady and she's waiting for you

And though her pretty face may seem
special person's wettest dream
Before you get to see it there are things you must do

We'll try a tie
And boutonnière of yellow

Or a rose that shows
That you're a classy fellow

With a posh panache
Of Jefferson and Monticello
Busting out a mile with style

I know you just can't wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair
But boy before you touch a single curl
You must impress that ultra-boomin',
All-consumin', poorly-groomin'
Down syndrome girl

On any normal day you reek
As if you were on a farting streak
Your finger's up your nose and you're dripping with drool

But if you want a lady's love
You're better off by smelling of
gentlemen's cologne instead of sneakers and stool

squirt, a spurt
Of something just for Ellen
And you'll see that she
Will find you [bad word] 
And she does because
The only smell that she'll be smellin'
Won't [bad word] from your bum

You wanna take that little [bad word] And spin her on the dancing floor
But boy before you do a single twirl

You must impress that effervescing,
Self-possesing, no-BS-ing
Down syndrome girl

Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower
Her kiss is so inviting
And her hugs are so delighting

And what makes them really nice
Is that they've got a little spice
Because they're tighter than a vice
And they go on for an hour

(Stewie and Chris tap dance)

My boy, between the two of us
We'll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl

Now go impress that super-thrilling
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling,
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing,
Gaily singing, dingalinging,
Stupefying, fortifying,
As of Monday, shoelace tying,
Stimulating, titillating,
Kitty-cat impersonating,
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking,
Just a little crooked walking,
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting,
For some reason always shouting,
Fascinating, captivating,
Happiness and joy creating...
Down syndrome girl!