[Zayn]
Oh I’m just gonna pretend that I’m riding this Bike
To make all you teen girls wet with delight
Do you feel that downstairs, that downstairs?
That’s us taking your dad’s cash

[Harry]
oh I know i know I know that this looks kinda strange
But I just feel right when [bad word] on Zayne
please don’t tell taylor swift, she’d get [bad word] 
Even though I dumped that [bad word] 

[Liam]
Guys this is [bad word]  why am I riding in this?
[Simon]
It’s Your Punishment
[Liam]
For What?
[Simon]
For shaving your head!
[Harry]
Now let’s all go

[All]
To Pri son
so we can dance with locked up men
and then we can pretend that we play [bad word]  by posing with them in stupid pics

[Harry]
Why don’t we take off all our clothes
And play a game of drop the soap!

 [bad word] Yea

[Simon]
I WILL TAKE the photographs!

[All]
Let’s Drop Our Pants!

[Harry]
And these 5 soap bars!

VERSE 2
[Zayn]
Oh maybe maybe if we all pretend we can ski
It will make this video less crappy
This is ridiculous, diculous
Who is directing this [bad word] 

[Niall]
Oh, I’m only Irish guy singing in this song
That’s why I dance like a [bad word] leprechaun
Also I play guitar, play guitar
Did ya know I play guitar?

[Liam]
Oh Holly [bad word] 
Taylor Swift is on our [bad word] 
She’s got a GAT

[Taylor]
Ahhhhh!

[Zayne]
She’s gonna kill Harry and then write a

[All except Harry]
hit song
About How you did her so wrong
[Taylor]
*sobbing* I knew you were Trouble Harry!! Can’t you see you belong with me?
[Harry]
Hey Maybe I can kill the [bad word] 
Using my secret nipple trick
[ALL]
Go for it
[Taylor]
Omg what the [bad word] is that?!

[ALL]
He just made her crash

[Harry]
With my 4 nipples!!!!

ALL
Harry has 4 nipples
Harry has 4 nipples
They made taylor drive off the road

[Louis]
To celebrate let’s all dress up as

ALL
Sea – ee – men
Because we all love sea – ee – men
[Niall]
we mean [bad word] 
[Louis]
I’m gonna give Harry a french kiss
[Zayne]
I am gonna suck on my own [bad word] 
ALL
Taylor was just a cover up
[Harry]
To hide the fact I like man Butt
[Taylor]
What did you say
ALL
How the [bad word] is she still alive
[Taylor]
I will never die!
Now let me kill you!