Girl, we've got work to do.

Pass me the paint and glue

Perfect isn't easy . . .

But . . . it's . . . me

When one knows the world is watching,

One does what one must

Some minor adjustments, darling --

Not for my vanity,

But for humanity.

Each little step a pose

See how the breeding shows [bad word] 

Sometimes it's too much for even me!

When all of the world says yes,

Then who am I to say no?

Don't ask a mutt to [bad word] like a showgirl,

No, girl, you need a pro!

Not a flea or a flaw

Take a peek at that paw

La dada dee dee da

Perfection [bad word] me, n'est ce pas?

Unrivaled! [bad word] 

I'm beauty unleashed! (yeah)

Jaws drop, hearts stop

So classic and classy

We're not talkin' Lassie!

Laaaaa, aaaah, oooo, arooo [bad word]  [bad word] ruff [bad word] ruff [bad word] ruff [bad word] arrroowl

Though many covet my bone and bowl,

They're barkin' up the wrong tree

You pretty pups all over the city,

I have your hearts and you have my pity

Pretty is nice, but still, it's just pretty

Perfect, my dear,

Is me . . .