You are my best friend in the world.
And I hope that you know,
when we hangout together,
it's freakin' awesome.

Playing poker friday night,
Pyromancing off golf cart races
You think that my sister's hot
I accidentally shot your finger
off your writing hand oh well,
you get disability.
I broke my leg you laughed so hard
and told my ambulance to stop at the bar.

You'll tell the world I'm [bad word] when you hear me say
that I really and [bad word] feel this way
not that there's anything wrong with being [bad word] 
And sometimes we punch each other in the face
like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I'm trying to say I love you in a heteroual way.

You [bad word] and burp in the same key,
and I think your iPod sucks.
You make fun of my hair because yours is.. disappearing.

I've seen your [bad word] you've seen mine
I popped your pimples [bad word] aloe vera on my sunburnt back
you went in fits when I [bad word] my pants
you felt my girls' brand new [bad word] you asked to suck them she refused
so while you slept I shaved your head
you woke up and told me that I...
You'll tell the world I'm [bad word] when you hear me say
that I really and [bad word] feel this way
not that there's anything wrong with being [bad word] 
And sometimes we punch each other in the face
like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I know you know I love you (I fringin love you dude)
I'm trying to say I love you in a heteroual way.

You'll tell the world I'm [bad word] when you hear me say
that I really and [bad word] feel this way
not that there's anything wrong with being [bad word] 
And sometimes we punch each other in the face
like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I'm trying to say I love you in a heteroual way.