Hello boys and girls I am the Doctor
but not the kind that gives you medicine
I've traveled throughout time and space
just to please the human race
so let's not dilly dally, let's begin.

now this thing you see here, it is my Tardis
and with it we shall get this party started
Time and Relative Dimension 
in Space. It's quite an invention
Some call it the Doctor's wife
excuse me while I slip inside...

You know it's, 
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.

An evil nemesis we call The Master
baits me into all kinds of disaster
On Gallifrey or so I'm told
He gazed into a gaping hole
and ever since he's been an awful [bad word] 
And then of course we've got the Cybermen
I hope I never see those things again.
Who knows what they're packing there
in their silver underwear
When you see them, you should vacate
your [bad word] they wish to 'simulate'

And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.

And pray you don't see any weeping angels
cause though it seems like they are made of stone
they're quantum locked and in a wink
if you should turn your head or blink
they'll get to you and chill you to the bone.... er

Those moving buckets there, they are the Daleks
they whine so much you'd swear that they have colic
it's DESTROY and EXTERMINATE
I think I know why they're irate
If they make it to the second floor
I'll show then what that plunger's for!

And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.

They're asking, "Dr. Who?"
What they should ask is "HOW?"
I am so very well endowed
I must admit, it's rather long
If you think I mean my scarf you're wrong!

you bloody pervs I meant this song!

So if you think you'd like a sonic [bad word] driver like I'm holding in my hand.
you will have to let me in
don't worry child it's not a sin
Hold on to my temporal drive
I'll take you for an epic ride!

And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me

ask Amy Pond!
once you've felt it inside you will see.